Alone on Valentines? It’s not such a bad thing!
- Sanya Jan
- 6 minutes ago
- 4 min read
As we turn our calendars to February, I’m sure many of us have in mind the much-loved (pun intended) Valentine's Day. If you’re reading this article, I’m assuming that you are a like-minded soul who is also going to be single on the 14th, with no lover in sight. Don’t worry, I’m right there with you. As a former Valentine's Day hater, every time February would creep up on me, I used to think: great – for the next three weeks all my favourite chocolates are going to come in heart-shaped boxes which inaudibly call me single; flowers are going to be shoved down my throat every time I enter a supermarket, and signs like “Confess your love!” and “For that special someone!” will be littered everywhere. These reminders of love and relationships are cute and silly if you’re in a relationship, but where does that leave us single folk? Probably lamenting our solitude, dreading the month and simply waiting for the horrific pink epidemic to end.
Being single, especially while being at university, can be really rough. Just trying to navigate corridors can be a nightmare when couples decide to inconveniently hold hands directly in your path while you’re late for a Monday 9am seminar.
Valentine's Day used to feel like immense pressure to me. I felt strange that amid this climate of love and intimacy, I felt no need for it nor wanted it, but was completely surrounded. However, as I grew older, I began to realise that Valentine’s Day shouldn’t have to be dedicated to a lover, and you can choose to celebrate the other loves that surround us.
So, I changed my outlook on Valentine’s Day: share your love with your loved ones. Not with some random guy in your course who you think is cute in the spur of the moment, or the situationship that you desperately miss. Share your love with the friends who have stood by you over the years, playfully judging those in-course crushes and being a shoulder to cry on when things get rough. Share your love with your family or your found family, who have supported you throughout your life. Remind those who you really care about that you do care.
Suggestions for a Single Valentines
After reflecting and thinking about it in that light, year by year, I began to fill my Valentines Days with love for those around me. You, as a like-minded soul, might also be thinking about how you might share your love with friends and family, so I, as your veteran single, have a couple of suggestions which have been tried and tested.
The easiest thing to do: make the call! Make a plan, see each other, maybe even have a little gift exchange. Every year, I text a good friend of mine to celebrate ‘Galentines’, which is the premium, upgraded, overall better version of the regular Valentine's Day which you get to celebrate with friends instead of a lover. We buy each other flowers and chocolate, go out to get a little sweet treat and spend the day catching up, spending some quality time together. We plan to do it again this year (it’s sort of become a yearly tradition, and I look forward to it every year).
It’s a lovely little reminder to me, and I hope to her as well, that we are loved and not alone. I also like to treat my family during Valentine's Day, because my family is so important to me. My mum especially loves Valentine's Day, so my sister and I buy her flowers, chocolate, and sometimes a little something extra on the side, just to remind her that we love her and appreciate everything she does for our family.
If gift-giving isn’t your love language, there’s an array of things which you could do instead to have a good time with some friends or family. London is home to such a broad range of activities, it will be easy to find something fun to suit your preference. Musicals, concerts, restaurants, bars, activities; there are so many options to choose from, and many will probably come with a cheeky Valentine’s Day discount! The full itinerary of a girl’s hangout I’ve done before was brunch (no lover will ever fulfill you like a full English), mini-golf, shopping and ending off yapping in a cafe.
That day, just in its simplicity and importance of being a Galentines hangout, has now become so treasured to me. Full English or not, spending the day together with those you love, having a fun activity planned, can be more than enough to fill your heart without the need of a lover.
If you still find yourself feeling disconsolately single, a good romance series or movie will always fill that void just a little. I always recommend a rom-com with some friends - it’s always great to watch things together, to laugh at things which you really shouldn’t be laughing at and to enjoy each other’s company. Even if the film isn’t great, the company will be. Get some good drinks, an overwhelmingly large set of snacks and binge to your heart’s content.
There are millions of things to do to fill your heart during the Valentines season. So, my dear single readers, don’t fear the romance in the air. Get out there, meet your friends, make your family some chocolate, go to town on Valentines Day. Fill up your day with friendship, family, and most importantly, tell your loved ones that you care.
Remember: you’re never really alone. You’re surrounded by people who love you going forward into this Valentines season, and you should make sure they know that.
Edited by Hania Ahmed, Creative Editor
