‘Love Is Blind’ Has Lost The Plot

Emily Bunder
12 minutes ago
8 min read

Wedding rings on a white background — Photo by Kazzle John Delbo on Unsplash

Contains spoilers for Love Is Blind season nine, episodes 1-11.

I have been an avid enjoyer of the reality TV show Love Is Blind (created by Chris Coelen) since it first premiered in 2020. The premise of the show is simple: fall in love with someone, get engaged sight unseen and then get to know them physically before either marrying them, or walking away. It puts into practice the claim that people do prefer personality over looks. Initially, the experiment was a success, with two couples from the first series still together nearly seven years after it was filmed. But the more popular the show became, the more it began to deviate from its original intention. Now in its ninth series, Love Is Blind has completely lost the plot. We have couples discussing their looks, contestants applying for fame and not love, as well as numerous scandals surrounding the show. As episodes of this current series are rolled out, I don’t believe any of these couples are going to get married.

Early on in series nine, we are introduced to a love square between Blake, Anna, Patrick and Kacie. Anna and Patrick are both of Asian descent. They did not disclose this to each other, or their other potential matches, for quite some time, both stating how this has been a point of assumption in their dating lives. Anna and Blake both end up quitting the show for personal reasons, leaving Patrick clearly devastated. It seemed as though he finally felt comfortable with someone. With no more Anna, he turned back to Kacie, who eventually pressured Patrick into revealing his ethnicity to her, manipulating him under the guise that he should trust her. In a scene that is painful to watch, Patrick stumbles over his words, uncomfortable to be disclosing this information.

Now, I’m not a psychology student and I’m far from being a relationships expert, but it doesn’t take a genius to understand for the purpose of this experiment, you're allowed to hide any indicators of looks. To break this also breaks trust. The trust between two people is always going to make or break a successful relationship. We’ve seen similar instances of hiding ethnicity on the show, like with Taylor in series seven. Her partner, Garrett respected her desire to not reveal her ethnicity until the two finally met. It is okay to want to avoid discussing things if you deem it appropriate. I don’t mean hiding, for example, instances of cheating on a partner. But if someone has a traumatic past and doesn’t want to relive events, then they shouldn’t have to; this would apply to the racism that Patrick has experienced whilst dating before. I like being an open book, but in my experience of connecting with people, I’ve learnt that not everyone is, and they should not be forced into being one.

Kacie claimed that this didn’t change things for her, but she ended their relationship before it could even begin, citing her lack of attraction to Patrick to a camera crew, but not in conversation with him. Arguably, if she had truly connected to him, she may have chosen to see if this attraction grew. If she respected him, she wouldn’t have lied to him. However, it is plain to see that a majority of their connection was built through looks and sexuality which, although can be important in building a relationship with someone, is not the purpose of the first stage of the experiment. As someone who has struggled with their looks in the past, I felt for Patrick whilst watching his story. Clearly for Kacie, love was in fact, not blind.

We also have the love square of Megan, Jordan, Mike and Blake. She cites Blake as her top choice before his departure. Megan and Mike were an uncomfortable watch and I was surprised to see that they did not end up together. The two seemed aligned on their approach to love, like a business transaction. Megan often talked about wanting to find someone to build her empire with, Mike fondly remarked similar ideas. However, after feeling like Mike was too similar to her exes, Megan chose Jordan, a blue-collar man, the complete opposite of anyone she had gone for before.

Out of all of the couples still together, these two seem to be the most stable of all. They’ve had minimal arguments, their families get on and they genuinely like each other. But I mention his status as it’s apparent that these two lead very different lives outside of the experiment. Megan made her wealth a huge talking point in the pods, Jordan found the fanciest outfit he could to meet her for the first time to try to impress her. The two visited expensive houses together, this made Jordan uncomfortable. Once the honeymoon phase is over for these two, I don’t know if they’ll be able to see past their differences.

Madison and Joe were cute in the pods. Madison suffers from an eye condition that may end up removing her sight permanently, this being her motivation for joining the experiment. Joe seemingly admired her strength, but this pair also had their flaws. Joe commented on her body, stating that he tends to date petite girls (this being said about a woman who was, in fact, slim!) People wonder why there are hardly any plus-size women on this show. Considering Joe’s reaction to a woman who is not, I’m surprised there are any at all.

In the history of Love Is Blind, only one plus-size woman has ever gotten married. In series 3, Alexa and Brennon fell in love and have been together ever since. Many people valued the positive representation of a plus-size woman finding love. To me, it should be a no-brainer that we have singles of all shapes and sizes on this show. It's called Love Is Blind, not Love Is Skinny!

I remember in 2019, when Love Island, a show all about looks, cast Anna Vakili, a beautiful, tall, curvy woman. Curvy, not plus-size. But, for a show that emphasises beauty in flat stomachs and small thighs, this was a new venture. I loved Anna on the show and I admired her confidence as a slightly chubby 13-year-old who was so used to seeing non-curvy women on TV. But she quickly became the series villain, the media painting her as the crazy ‘Hurricane Anna’. I was hoping that Love Is Blind would continue to give us positive representation, like with Alexa and Brennon. Instead it gave Madison an eating disorder.

The two finally went their separate ways when Joe ended things. Joe’s hesitation had been apparent from the start and he realistically should have broken it off earlier. Several arguments could have been avoided, Madison’s sanity could have been somewhat saved and Joe wouldn’t have been played out to ‘Manchild’ by Sabrina Carpenter…embarassing! I mean, the man runs a dating podcast, shouldn’t he be able to recognise when relationships go wrong? Then we have this series’ most hated couple, not just by members of the public, but also by other cast members, as seen in a recent episode. Nick and Annie both had other connections. Nick even told two different girls that he loved them! Way to go, Nick! Lovebombing is exactly what women want! Eventually the pair came together, bonding over similar interests, including a now infamous conversation about how they would both react if their possible future child came out as gay, Annie concluding that she would not be happy about it. They’ve argued, they lead different lives, but from a wider point of view, neither of them comes across as particularly nice people. It should come as no surprise that these two split up before their wedding, but quite frankly, it’s hard to care about a couple who haven’t made a good impression.

I think I’m most disappointed by Anton and Ali, who seemed absolutely perfect for each other in the pods. On the retreat, they appeared mostly strong, where other couples argued. But when Ali went to meet one of Anton’s friends, she found out that he may have fabricated the truth about his lifestyle. Prior to the experiment, Anton could often be found in strip clubs, according to his friend’s girlfriend. Ali felt blindsided not knowing this. There is a real problem with many dating shows, in the sense that the people applying for them don’t necessarily believe in their effectiveness. This is how people like Anton, who have bachelor lifestyles, end up getting cast. It’s a quick route to fame, right?

Another large point of contention has been Anton’s drinking habits. In one episode, the two return from a party for Ali to see all of their alcohol gone. Of course, consumption of alcohol is a very normal thing that many people do engage with. But Ali’s concern is valid, especially if Anton did not disclose to her just how much and how often he drinks previously. As someone who tends to not drink, I see where alcohol can cause problems in a relationship. People can be very different under the influence and if Ali finds this hard to navigate, then the two will struggle. So, although I initially had my hopes up, I don’t see Anton and Ali lasting.

Perhaps the scariest conversation in this series was between Kalybriah and Edmond. The couple connected in the pods and seemed to be continuing to do so after meeting. But after hearing that all of the other couples had been intimate with each other whilst Kalybriah wanted to wait, this triggered Edmond. Taking up a majority of a ten-minute-long conversation between the two, Edmond throws a temper tantrum about his sexual frustration, claiming that he is “too f**king nice”. Rest assured, if he was actually that nice, he would be respecting Kalybriah’s boundaries.

It is not uncommon nowadays to see instances of toxic masculinity on reality TV; it is compatible with the growth of the incel movement and the rise of online misogyny. Reality TV shows tend to feature these characters for shock value and they are simply reduced to being ‘villians’, which I think is too light of a term. Because when we don’t call out misogynistic behaviour for what it is, we end up platforming people like Stephen Bear. Bear’s behaviour on Celebrity Big Brother in 2017 was indicative of his disrespect of women, cheating on his girlfriend for the whole world to see. Bear was later arrested and charged for the distribution of pornography of his ex-girlfriend, with the intent of profiting. Edmond apologises to her in the next episode, but if I were Kalybriah, I would’ve run then and there. We should not have to be reminding people that it is not okay to try to influence them into having sex! This behaviour can be influential on those watching and producers have a responsibility to not condone it.

So far, this series has been difficult to watch. The entire point of Love Is Blind is to not know or care about what the person you are falling in love with looks like. In an era of dating apps, where looks are pretty much the only thing defining a person, Love Is Blind used to be an antithesis in which I found a lot of comfort. Now, it’s just as shallow as any dating show. Of course it’s not a reality TV show without some drama, but by emphasising the drama over the romance, Love Is Blind has lost the essence of what it once was. Three couples remain, none of which I think will get married. It’s safe to say that I don’t have my hopes up for series 10.