How To Get A Girl In 10 Months #2: Fears, Insecurities, And Growth

Georgina Haynes
Oct 18
4 min read

Updated: Oct 30

2 girls smoking and sitting on pavement — Photo by Olivia Fish

So, what is the first month of studying abroad like, you may be wondering. Well, it’s terrifying.

Sitting in the departure lounge with a one-way ticket to an unknown world made me wish that I was still a young girl, with not a worry in the world. As I passed through security, it dawned on me that I wouldn't be able to just hop on the tube to visit my loved ones anymore. This realisation was absolutely nauseating. Comforts that were once at my fingertips disappeared, and I became the only one who could pick myself up. It wouldn’t be all that daunting if it weren’t for the ‘navigating my new life in a foreign language’ part.

As language students, we are constantly reminded of the words and phrases that are imperative to memorise for when we’re finally abroad. If you plan on using decades-old slang words for something innocuous, then the advice we are given will definitely prepare you for moving to another country. If not, remember this: nothing will prepare you for how fast people speak, so don’t fight it. Pick out a word or two that you did understand, respond to that, and hope for the best. France isn’t exactly across the world, but it definitely came with its fair share of culture shocks.

University here is like Paris Fashion Week, and you’d best be wearing Chanel to that 8 am! Being stared at by French people clad in business-casual clothes while you’re wearing sweatpants is rather humbling, to say the least. The food is so different, obviously, but I didn’t expect to be going crazy from how much I miss the moreish, gravy-covered food of the UK. You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s replaced with bread and cheese. People here aren’t as rude as social media has depicted them to be; they just act like Londoners, do not be afraid!

Here are my tips for winning over the French as a frightened Erasmus student. Keep volume to a minimum, so as not to disturb them in their natural habitat (the smoking area). Loud English speakers are not appreciated. Always greet them politely with a bonjour or bonsoir, or expect growling (I’m not joking). Avoid eye contact on the street. And most importantly, do NOT feed them baguettes, as you risk getting bitten. If you honour these tips, you won’t receive the ‘Emily in Paris’ style francophone rudeness. But anyway, I digress.

Have I come to any great realisations about myself since arriving? Sort of.

My body is still trying to digest the fact that I’m not in danger, so don’t expect too much philosophising from me. My confidence seems better. I didn’t expect that I would be saying this a month into living here, but I’m not complaining. Not knowing what other people are thinking about me has always given me a great deal of grief, but I’ve realised that no matter how I feel about myself, people WILL like me regardless. What is in my control is my ability to uplift myself and those around me. There is nothing wrong with me for presenting differently to others. There is nothing wrong with being different. Now more than ever, I’m trying to remind myself that people who judge with no rhyme or reason are insecure. This is due in part to the moments where I’ve felt like I’ve been teleported back into secondary school. People can be extremely cliquey. I’ve heard things that would make you question whether the anti-bullying campaigns from our youth had any effect at all. Luckily, I’ve been too distracted to ruminate on this.

This might sound like the most surface-level dating advice, like, ever, but I certainly needed this put into words at one point. Getting to know someone gives you lots to look forward to, and taking things slow (surprisingly) feels much better than drunken one-night stands. It always seems that you will never progress past break-ups and awkward dates, until you meet someone that you click with. Remember that you are a catch, and spending time wondering if that’s true is time wasted. Out of fear that… she… will read this, I won’t expose myself too much, so I’ll leave you with this: the things that terrify you the most will put you on the path to the best version of yourself, where you will question how you ever lived otherwise while in the company of people you’ve always wanted to meet.

My current soundtrack of feelings while procrastinating my homework: