Riverside Studios ‘Da Vinci’s Laundry’ Review: A Brilliant, Quick-Witted Satire on the Value of Art

★ ★ ★ ★ ★| To sell or not to sell? That is the question plaguing art dealers Milly (Arséma Thomas) and Christopher (Keelan Kember) in Kember’s sharp new play, Da Vinci’s Laundry, as they debate whether the painting before them is a true Da Vinci or a fake. While an interesting conundrum, one might wonder how a 90-minute play will be written out of it without becoming tedious. Thankfully, Da Vinci’s Laundry does not subject its audience to a stuffy, drawn-out fate and avoids pretension in a plot that zips along beautifully.

From the first exchange, Kember’s writing and his and Thomas’s delivery move with impressive speed and rhythm. Thomas and Kember bounce off one another seamlessly, drawing the audience into their quick-fire debate. There is no real introduction, with the play beginning in the seller’s room where the painting, whose face the audience never sees, sits. This works marvellously because by leaving out any formal exposition, the agitation and hilarity of Milly and Christopher’s situation is elevated, as neither the audience nor the art dealers are entirely sure of what’s going on.

Steve Zissis, Keelan Kember and Arsema Thomas in Da Vinci's Laundry. Photo credit: Teddy Cavendish

As new characters enter and the truth begins to surface, the intrigue deepens and the ensemble dynamic tightens, giving the audience the thrill of being in on a potential conspiracy. John Albasiny makes Boris both menacing and delightfully cheeky, balancing his character’s dark edge with humour that keeps the growing power tension sharp and hilarious. The Prince (Fayez Bakhsh) is a different kind of menacing and played with a cool, regal charisma, with a poise and quiet ominousness that is thinly veiled behind a jocular and hospitable exterior. Kember uses the Prince and Boris both as comic relief and as a lens to question whether the arbiters of “high art” have really changed since the Renaissance.

Just as the tension threatens to peak, the arrival of Tony “the Mooch” (Steve Zissis) tips the play into glorious chaos. A brash, flamboyantly patriotic American, Tony is the target of hysterically funny jokes that match his ridiculous absurdity. Though he teeters on the edge of caricature, Kember grounds him just enough to make Tony a biting reflection on politics, integrity, and lost love.

The cast of Da Vinci's Laundry. Photo credit: Teddy Cavendish

Amid the farce, Milly’s introspection is the profound and sincere heart of the play. Thomas plays Milly’s razor-sharp wit with ease and portrays her solemn moments with genuine earnestness. In well-written monologues, Milly meditates on her life, career choices, and how value is ascribed to beauty. As the play’s sombre analytical core, she offers vital moments of reflection that keep the show from becoming frivolous. That balance stems from Kember’s writing, which glides smoothly between tension, nonsense, and thoughtful musings on the value of art.

Eleanor Wintour’s set design is minimalist, white, and sleek, with a centred entryway lighting a golden Jeff Koons balloon dog. It’s strange at first, as the few white objects feel a bit bleak and almost surgical, a feeling intensified by the curious choice of having the stagehands in hazmat suits. The all-white set also allows Wintour’s colourful costuming to stand out, with the characters’ respective costumes seemingly aligning with how the audience might expect them to dress. Together, the set and costumes mirror the play’s fascination with artifice, bias, and artistic expression.

Da Vinci’s Laundry is sensational in its precision. Nothing is overlooked, and the play never lets up. The compact cast sustains total focus, demanding and rewarding an equally engaged audience. No beats are missed, and the only unscripted pauses between jokes occur during particularly lengthy bouts of laughter, bordering on hysterical. The efforts of the entire team are in plain sight, as the minimalist and white set allows nothing to hide, and it all comes together magnificently. In an era of remakes, sequels, and prequels, Da Vinci’s Laundry offers a clever original story with a refreshing take on an old debate.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Da Vinci’s Laundry plays from October 6th to 25th at Riverside Studios.